Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Humour - A Man's Job.

My last post (the survey) was extremely feminine and unmanly. I regretted it as soon as I clicked 'publish', but by then it was too late. It is therefore my duty to churn up a counterbalancing blog; A blog that reeks of testosterone - So much so that anyone (male or female) who reads it will have a fully grown moustache by the time he/she finishes reading it.
I dedicate this blog post to anyone with a penis.

[Women and Humour, is like Water and Oil]

[Men and Humour on the other hand, is more like Bread and Butter]

Men are funnier than women. That is a fact. It's just the way it is. It is as if men have an extra part of brain that enables us to be funny (It has recently been discovered that male brain is 100g heavier than female brain on average, so perhaps this could be it). I can't even remember the last time a girl said something that I found hilarious. Sure sure, from time to time they can make you smile, or even laugh on rare occasions, but it is definately not as frequent as amounts of laughter I share with the guys. I can't help it. I wish women were more humourous than they are. This is not to say that they aren't fun, as humour is only one of many factors in social interaction. They're just not funny.

Is it because I'm a man, and therefore I am inherently biased towards male sense of humour? Do I just simply not get female humour? Probably to an extent, I do have a penis attached to me. But I'd like to think that I am a reasonably funny guy with reasonably open mind. This man-woman difference in sense of humour doesn't quite explain why the comedy industry is dominated by my gender today. On TV, movies and live performances (stand-up), comedy is still very male. Think about shows like Friends, Everbody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld. Most would agree that Ross, Chandler and Joey are funnier than Phoebe, Rachel and Monica. Frank and Robert/Raymond are funnier than Marie and Deborah, and Just about anyone's funnier than Elaine. With stand-up comedy, I've never actually laughed out loud (lolled?) at the jokes of a woman stand-up comedian, simply because they just weren't funny at all. Russell Peters, on the other hand, makes me laugh every time, no matter how many times I watch the guy say same things over and over again. Name me one woman stand-up who's funny. Yeah didn't think you could. Stand-up comedy environment is about as artificial as it gets - we can probably assume that the audience is made up equally of male and female, so a comedian would have to use humour that suits both sexes.

The most confusing part for me, is why this is the way it is. I mean women understand humour just as well as men, they just don't seem to be able to make humour something of their own.

I'll finish this post with some quotes about humour. Oh and one last thing, next time you're about to say something "funny", check inside your underpants to make sure you have a penis. (Yes I have said penis 3 times in this post.)

"The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven." - Mark Twain

"Humour is reason gone mad." - Groucho Marx.

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing." - William Davis.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Birthplace:Melbourne, contrary to what many believe.
Current Location:Melbourne.
Eye Color:Brown.
Hair Color:Black but going grey.
Right Handed or Left Handed:Strangely tricky question for me.
Your Heritage:100% Pure breed Korean.
The Shoes You Wore Today:My 3 Year old Vans sneakers.
Your Weakness:Bullets.
Your Fears:Singing off-key.
Your Perfect Pizza:Pretty much anything wood-fired.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Not sure.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:['hey'-'hey'-'whats up'-'nm'-'u'-'same'], and lol.
Thoughts First Waking Up:Where am I?
Your Best Physical Feature:None. Having a best feature implies you lack somewhere else.
Your Bedtime:Between 1~4am.
Your Most Missed Memory:Being born.
Pepsi or Coke:Coke.
MacDonalds or Burger King:Hungry Jacks. Only just.
Single or Group Dates:Single.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Not a big fan of tea.
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:Coffee.
Do you Smoke:Nah.
Do you Swear:Yeh.
Do you Sing:A lot.
Do you Shower Daily:Yeh.
Have you Been in Love:Almost.
Do you want to go to College:Too late now eh.
Do you want to get Married:I do I do I do. Just not now.
Do you belive in yourself:Too much.
Do you get Motion Sickness:Occasionally.
Do you think you are Attractive:Yeh.
Are you a Health Freak:Nah.
Do you get along with your Parents:Too well.
Do you like Thunderstorms:Yeh. Well more the rain bit than the thunder/storm part.
Do you play an Instrument:Yeh.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Yeh.
In the past month have you Smoked:Nah.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Nah.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Giggle.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Too general of a question.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:Nah.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Yeh.
In the past month have you been on Stage:Nah.
In the past month have you been Dumped:Nah.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:Nah.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:Nah.
Ever been Drunk:Yeh.
Ever been called a Tease:Nah.
Ever been Beaten up:Nah.
Ever Shoplifted:Nah.
How do you want to Die:Laughing.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:Currently looking forward to retirement.
What country would you most like to Visit:Sweden.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Green
Favourite Hair Color:Dark and Dirty with varying tones of colour. If you know what I mean.
Short or Long Hair:Don't care.
Height:Equal or less than me.
Weight:Less than me.
Best Clothing Style:Comfort.
Number of Drugs I have taken:1 if alcohol counts.
Number of CDs I own:A few.
Number of Piercings:None.
Number of Tattoos:None.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:I'm a risk neutral so a few I'd say.


Yay I've turned into a chick. But at 1:30am I just couldn't resist it. Credit to Tiff and her myspace for the survey.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Moobwatch Promo.

With a spark of inspiration around 3:00am in one faithful morning, Josh has come up with the brilliant idea of creating a web-forum dedicated to us. Being the great friend that I am I've decided to plug the site for him and encourage you to sign-up and write-up.

Known as 'Moobwatch', this forum will assist 'the fags' to acquire the latest news about whats-going-on in the world of 'the fags'. God I hate that name that we've labelled ourselves with, it's so demeaning to all the non-heterosexuals in this world.

So yeah check it out, the URL of the site is: http://moob.createforum.net . It's starting to look pretty aiiiight!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Science Ball '06.

Hello to all my dedicated readers out there... what is that, like three people or something.

It has indeed been a while since I last posted, and let me just say, being sick is just about the worst thing in the world, well maybe except for dying; RIP Steve Irwin. I was absolutely shocked when I found out that he had died- what a waste of great Australian icon. He is lived by his wife and two children so I hope his nature & wildlife-preserving legacy continues with them for long time to come.

So along with my flu, I've been down with rather bad case of Hives, and if you know me and know me well, you would've heard all about it by now. Admittedly I am a terrible-sick person (no not the [fully-sik] kind) and I have the habit of bringing down the world around me with my constant whinging, complaining and request for refill of my hot pot of tea.

Anywhooywooy, Science Ball was on this week and I was devastated. I tried selling my ticket but I left it too late - as usual. But I was about to slip into an afternoon recovery nap when I got a rather convincing sms from none other than Joshy the Droopy Eyes, and I decided, yah it probably wouldn't hurt going for a little bit. So this is how I popped my Uni Ball Cherry- short-lived and mediocre.

Cam went as what seemed to be a cross-breed of William Wallce and Steve Irwin; I was appalled by his extremely black sense of humour. Too soon man, just too soon. He also kept adjusting his rod through out the night (as per photo), which was a rather disturbing sight. Steve was looking slick and spiffy even more than usual.

Apologies to Jey for the terrible quality of photo but this is the best I could do, with the help of brother Sam's photo editing skills. This photo looks completely black otherwise.

Two cultures crossing paths- Alex in his awesome Roman soldier outfit and me in my Hakama looking not too bad myself. Hardly anyone knew what the hell I was supposed to be though, absence of kendo-stick probably did not help.

Cam looking more William Wallace in this photo. He still hasn't lost that sock, and respect to that.

Kasun looking pimp for the night; I could never pull off a white suit, I don't think.

Here is our great persuader, his outfit looking less-than-persuasive, sitting next to very well groomed Fred Flintstone. Don't exactly know what Josh was going for.

As the night went on (actually it took only like half an hour) pot glasses were exchanged with long-neck bottles causing alcohol to be consumed at much faster rate. I was deeply sad that I could not be part of the action.

Obligatory photo-taking pose featuring random viking, Droopy Eyes' girlfriend, and myself.

I love this photo of Alex, who transformed into a Viking-Roman at some stage of the night.

Obligatory photoshooting collage. No my half open mouth-thing that I've got going on in some of these photos isn't a new photo look I'm trying out... it's because the area around my nose and mouth were all dry and stuff from blowing my nose and wiping it off with tissue too much. You know that feeling, that burning, dry sensation? Yeh that.

That was pretty much my night, coughing and sneezing and taking photos. Then I booted home, thanks for the lifts Brother Sam. I didn't get to see Michael but apparently he came sometime after I left. I think fun was had by all, and so yeh, that's pretty much it. Except -

A pretty cool shot of the fountain outside of REB.

*Speeeling mistakes edited post-Josh's pedantic comments.