Sunday, May 28, 2006


Pattern (n):
1. A model or original used as an archetype.
2. A person or thing considered worthy of imitation.
3. A plan, diagram, or model to be followed in making things: a dress pattern.
4. A representative sample; a specimen.
5. An artistic or decorative design: a paisley pattern.
6. A design of natural or accidental origin: patterns of bird formations.
7. A consistent, characteristic form, style, or method, as:
A composite of traits or features characteristic of an individual or a group: one's pattern of behavior.

I love finding patterns (definition 2 and 7 above, in bold) in people. I find it rather humorous (and hilarious at times) when someone recognizes someone else's pattern and does an imitation of it. I don't exactly understand why it's so funny but I guess it's roughly because a) The person who is being imitated (the patternee) does not realize he/she has that pattern until the person who does the imitating (the patterner) points it out, usually in a humiliating, exaggerated fashion; b) it's good to feel validated by the fact that you are not the only one who has noticed a certain pattern in someone, and c) I am, and whoever that feels the same way as I do, is one bored motherfucker who likes to bitch about others.

So let us establish the act of finding and imitating somebody else's behavioural pattern as patterning. Now I want you all to get out there and do some patterning. The closer you are to the person the better; it'll just make things funnier.

Here are some that we've found so far:
  • When visiting Campbell esate, one can be assured to be greeted by half-naked Campbell at the door who has just 'taken a shower' and 'did not have enough time to put a shirt on'. This is often followed by Cam asking you what the hell you're doing there.
  • Alex always begins his dances with a firm clap/hand grasp, followed by index fingers pointed at the ceiling. Always.
  • Michael never states what he wants to do; instead he asks a really really suggestive question, such as: 'you know what we should do?'. You must answer this question with a question of your own, 'what?', as otherwise you will not know what the hell you should be doing.
  • Josh finds it necessary to let everyone in his vicinity know that he has just farted. Rather than giving a warning, he says this only seconds before his bodily fumes inevitably enters the nostrils of whoever happens to be near him at the time. On the same topic, Josh will never fart away from you- infact, he will lift a side of his arse so he can fart AT you more accurately.
  • Kyle will tell you an outrageous story that will make you ask 'really?' in disbelief. Which he says 'No' in reponse, followed by a cheeky smile, a clap, and a burst of haha. Further confirming the general consensus that he shouldn't be trusted.

Feel free to add onto the list.

It's funny how I notice the smallest things about others but I am yet to find a pattern in myself. I think it could be a strong act of denial.


hwangus said...

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeephaaaaaaaaaaaaa ooooooooooooooooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah

joshyd87 said...

ooo ooo ive got one!

Jin is a dickhead.

The End.

Michael Golden said...

ive got one for ben;
when he sends you a message, he thinks that he is so important that he expects a reply almost immediately. if you do not reply straight away, within 15-20mins you will recieve another, very abusive message from ben, normally along the lines of "write back you lazy fuck!"